Dependency on Others and Pain
Dependency on others can result from:
- Presence of depression, distress, frustration, apprehension, tension and perhaps fear
- Feeling of being overwhelmed by present life circumstances and feeling incapable of fulfilling daily responsibilities.
- Feel of inability to accomplish things that were easy to handle in the past.
- Poor self-confidence and self-esteem
- Feeling of considerable guilt
- Loss of insight, lack of energy and lack of physical activity
- Feeling of abandonment
The patient may begin to arrange his/her live to ensure a constant supply of family attention, reassurance, and support. General avoidance of independent functioning or responsibilities often follows. By displaying physical helplessness and weakness, and by demonstrating weakness, the patient continues to derive support. Unfortunately, as the family responds more and more to these needs, the person with pain suffers further losses in self-esteem and self-confidence. Eventually, the patient becomes so dependent he/she is incapable of handling almost any responsibilities in the household. The patient becomes convinced his/her survival depends on family members. Suddenly the patient’s world becomes so small. Depression sets in. When dependency is so advanced, the patient may fear that his/her family members might be injured or killed if they leave the house. The patient may fear that if he/she argues or disagrees with their loved one, they may be abandoned. The patient’s world becomes even smaller and anxiety and panic attacks set in.
Resolutions for Dependency:
Understanding of what your actual physical limitations are. Set reasonable expectations. Do as much as you can for yourself by yourself.
Avoid asking for things you are capable of doing on your own
Unnecessary dependency may be an expression of your love but it will backfire later by becoming an added burden and discord
You are who you are and you live with your pain. Do not throw burdens on others.
Do not get discouraged. Time will show you that instead of making things worse by reducing your helpfulness, the situation gets better for all
Slowly rebuild an image of competence and self-esteem by slowly taking on, accepting, and completing responsibility
Exercise ad strengthen your muscles and get in a reconditioning program, If will teach you to rely on yourself.
Remember that these are difficult ties for everyone. The loved ones have their own headaches in life.
Be positive and optimistic. You will make it.
